One of the biggest issues to sort out when getting married (apart from actually convincing someone to be Mrs Private Bin) is obtaining a marriage licence.

And as Private Bin discovered last week, the government monopoly on issuance of marriage contracts allows it to keep a close watch on its citizens.

When he headed to the Department of Internal Affairs to get his marriage licence approved, Private Bin was stunned to discover that describing his occupation as “journalist” wasn’t “specific enough” for Big Brother.