Actual results may vary.

UPDATE: We're not out of the woods yet

Despite a sudden plunge in the quality of its 018 service, the Yellow Pages Group is determined to stick with its new Filipino call centre.

And ironically, it's Telecom, which flicked off its directory business two years ago,  that's copping the PR disaster as Yellow persists with its trouble-prone outoff-shoring effort.

Everybody’s got a story about a shocking 018 experience recently; "recently" being the 10 weeks or so since Yellow started to offshore its directory call centre - formerly operated out of New Zealand - to Filipino company Teletech.

Personally, I’ve found about every second call requires me to tediously spell out each letter of a company’s name, or the response is swift but the completely wrong details txt to my cellphone.

Two recent examples:

1. Dialling 018 and asking for New Zealand Trade and Enterprise in Wellington, I was sent the number for one Tridon Industries.

2. Asking for the number for Alcatel Lucent in Auckland, the operator asked me to “please wait” several times, before saying “please hold for the number” ... which came through on txt as The Human Rights Commission.

It wastes my time. And what am I supposed to do, call back and ask for a refund? If you’re on the road with a cellphone, the only thing to do is trying your luck again in the 018 lottery.

Yellow CEO Bruce Cotterill said that training for TeleTech staff in Manila, which “includes Maori pronunciation, Kiwi accents and colloquialisms, and familiarity with New Zealand businesses and geography” is being “extended and enhanced”.

Why not extend and enhance it before going live?

No turning back
Whatever I think - or you think - of the dreadful Manila service, there will be no turning back (unlike Telstra, which recently announced a withdrawal).

“Yellow is committed to operating the 018 service from Manila in the foreseeable future,” said Mr Cotterill, who blames “declining economics” for the shift:

"The reality is that 018 call volumes and revenues are gradually falling so we need to find the most economic way of providing the current service as well as building new services. As a New Zealand-operated service the financial model would have meant substantial prices increases, which is not favourable to New Zealanders”

Now, a negative feedback cycle is in place. The shocking Filipino service is going to lead to fewer 018 calls, which in turn will ratchet up the need for further cost-cutting.

NZ back-up
While the enhanced training takes place, an increased number of 018 calls will be fielded by New Zealand-based operators, Yellow head of communications Greta Yardley told Keallhauled.

The percentage will vary at different times of the day. At times, 100% of calls are handled by Manila staff, said Ms Yardley.

However, the local fall-back is transitory. Yellow remains committed to 100% offshoring of the 144 directory positions (TeleTech actually employs 166 staff, but lower salary costs mean a considerable saving; Yellow won't put an exact figure on the amount.)

Telecom cops it
Former Telecom chief executive Theresa Gattung made a number of missteps, but one thing she did grasp was the “declining economics” that Mr Cotterill refers to.

All around the world, national telcos have flicked off their directory services. Sure, The Yellow Pages was a cash cow, but it was better to offload it (and The White Pages) while it would still get a good price. That is, before everybody twigged that Google was just as good an option, and directories started to pile up in a hidden corner of the office.

Telecom duly sold its directories business to CCMP Capital Asia and Teachers’ Private Capital the investment arm of the Canadian Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan.

The price - a tasty $2.24 billion. Most of it was given back to shareholders as a special dividend rather than being invested in broadband or 3G, but nevermind. It was a good haul, and Telecom was free and clear of a declining business.

Except ... every second person I meet - including many journalists - still think that Telecom owns the 018 service. Couple that with the fact that people are dimly aware that the telco is offshoring hundreds of positions to Manila and the lousy new 018 service often gets pinned on the now completely separate Telecom.

Offshoring can work
Speaking of Telecom, it’s done a lot more offshoring than Yellow, with around 750 positions now based in the Philippines. But many are back-office positions, or those drawn from Australian division AAPT. For New Zealanders, only broadband support is directly affected, and I’ve found that fine. There’s been the occasional rumble - as there always has been, in truth, about the vexed area of internet help - but nothing like the popular outrage that’s met 018’s Manila move. In short, it’s proved a solid component of Paul Reynolds’ cost control plan.

And so can iPhone
I should add that Yellow isn’t doing everything wrong.

Sure, Yellow’s custom version of Internet Explorer 8 is an abomination, rudely plastering over your existing favourites bar with an endless series of Yellow shortcuts that will take you weeks to manually extract. It’s an awful piece of software development by every known human standard, and Microsoft deserves collateral brand damage for allowing it to happen.

But Yellow’s just-released iPhone app is free, and works well. Better, it can sense your current location, and only search for businesses in that area. It’s simple, slick and useful. If you’re lucky enough to own an iPhone, you need never infuriate yourself with 018 again.