How RNZ obtained spy notebook

Of all the people in all the streets in all of Wellington, it was a Radio New Zealand reporter who picked up the secret Treasury notebook discussing a possible merger of the nation’s three intelligence agencies.

Keallhauled is saddened to see a number of readers, in our Comments section, questioning the likelihood of this accidental discovery.

It’s time to answer this slur on our national broadcaster.

Informed sources tell NBR that the Treasury official known only as “Audrey” left the spiral notepad in a cafe on Lambton Quay.

It was picked up by a passing toddler, whose mother stuffed it into a side-pocket on his stroller.

From there, it was snatched by a seagull - called Dave, incidentally - who carried it high into the sky, until he was disturbed by a passing 737.

A rush of super-cooled air heading down from the troposphere glided the notebook back to earth, where it landed in the back of a utility vehicle. The ute jolted a curb as it rounded a corner into Bowen Street, and the notepad spilled out, landing directly at the feet of the RNZ reporter in question.

Why is that so hard to believe?

With additional reporting by Nicky Hager and Dave the Seagull.