Judge Jock: The Return of The Scunner

Judge Jock

An eerie rumble rolled about Vulcan Lane the other day.

There it is again…

Purse-clutching briefs baulk...

Beaks blanche in long bottoms...

A low grumble works up to a full-blown Harrumph.

“I say, Judge Jock,” bellowed Our Man At The Bar. “Where have you been hiding??? Your round, if I’m not mistaken…”

“Tell me, Your Eminence, what do you make of this sordid business with the Auckland law society and our distinguished mate Colin Taylor???

“Rum do, what???”

“Sixteen years then out he goes, not even a farewell biscuit for good behaviour.”

“Old Collie got the shabby end of the stick, if you ask me.”

“It was all I could do to stop my chambers chums picketing the law society’s luxurious squat… We were up for it until we ran into QC Brian Keene on the front steps.

“It’s true, dear old Brian sprang to CEO Suzie Keppel’s defence, telling Collie in the polite-est of terms to back off or there may be serious implications.”

“I hear Brian even offered Collie a touch of the old “modus vivendi.”

“You don’t mean…???” gasped Judge Jock, instantly recognising Modus Vivendi as a well-known brand of Greek underwear.

“Didn’t John Clark say they were all a bit, you know, funny???”

“That’s quite enough of that sort of talk. Anyway, mine’s a double…”

“Money first,” snapped the landlady.

To see more about what this is all about search for Colin Taylor at NBR ONLINE.

Meanwhile, coming soon with Judge Jock: A Gossip’s History of New Zealand Law, a Pop-Up Guide to Being a Judge, Sexiest QCs to Spend the Night Stroking Silk With, plus why Joe Karam is Tipped to be new Chief Justice.  

Footnote: Loosely based on jottings from another time, Judge Jock is testing the NBR ONLINE water, where only the courageous survive...


5 · Got a question about this story? Leave it in Comments & Questions below.

This article is tagged with the following keywords. Find out more about MyNBR Tags

Post Comment

5 Comments & Questions

Commenter icon key: Subscriber Verified

Bring it on, out in the open (in front of the firewall, if you please).

  • 0
  • 0

Pay up, Scunner...

  • 0
  • 0

Just don't buy any farms, race horses or Italian leaping horses...and you'll live to entertain us again next week. Good on you for sticking it to the ungrateful sods. CT deserved better from the SS....self-serving.

  • 0
  • 0

More freely-available Judge Jock please. Every good publication should have a satirist, not just a cartoonist. Fairfax has Braunias. APN has Toby Manhire. NBR now has Judge Jock.

  • 0
  • 0

Good stuff!
More please.

  • 0
  • 0

Post New comment or question

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

NZ Market Snapshot


Sym Price Change
USD 0.7137 0.0000 0.00%
AUD 0.9565 0.0000 0.00%
EUR 0.6690 0.0000 0.00%
GBP 0.5608 0.0000 0.00%
HKD 5.5367 0.0000 0.00%
JPY 80.9020 0.0000 0.00%


Commodity Price Change Time
Gold Index 1176.8 6.900 2016-12-02T00:
Oil Brent 55.1 0.510 2016-12-02T00:
Oil Nymex 52.6 0.650 2016-12-02T00:
Silver Index 16.8 0.326 2016-12-02T00:


Symbol Open High Last %
NZX 50 6933.4 6973.4 6932.7 -0.40%
NASDAQ 5249.0 5274.5 5251.1 0.09%
DAX 10436.5 10545.4 10534.0 -0.20%
DJI 19161.2 19196.1 19191.9 -0.11%
FTSE 6752.9 6752.9 6752.9 -0.33%
HKSE 22736.8 22756.0 22878.2 -1.37%
NI225 18435.5 18469.7 18513.1 -0.47%
ASX 5500.2 5500.2 5500.2 -1.02%