The 10 silliest silly season stories

KeallHauled

Chris Keall

Gondolas soar over the streets of New York

Ah, the Christmas/New Year break – or the silly season as it's known in the trade as journos scramble to fill column inches with the courts and Parliament shut, and most news-makers at the beach.

Here's my pick of the 10 best (or should that be worst?) efforts in what media scientists are calling the silliest season on record.

1. Picture exclusive: John Key and wife Bronagh enjoy their Hawaii getaway (NZ Herald)
Judge's comment: See John reach for a coffee! See John stand around while his car fills with petrol! See John staring at a brochure, looking slightly bored! A privacy invasion completely without news merit – or even tabloid or entertainment merit. Whatever the Herald paid for its exclusive, it was too much. (See Privacy Commissioner John Edwards' comments here.)

2. How New Zealand spent Christmas day (Stuff)
Judge's comment: What do you do when you draw the short straw? Drink through it, of course. Stuck in the newsroom on Christmas day, a trio of journos poured themselves drinks, invited Kiwis to share their Christmas pics, then cut and pasted them into an article. A handful of photos included an upturned pavlova and a can of Red Bull.

3. Turtle found wandering Nelson streets (Stuff)
Money quote: "We're used to seeing hedgehogs up here but never this."

4. Invercargill teen who rides cow wasn't allowed a horse (Newshub)
Money quote: "It's probably good for the cow to get out and do something different."

5. Tightened Speight’s caps are a pain (Otago Daily Times)
Money quote: "We seem to be struggling to open them as quick as we used to."

6. Gondolas soar above gridlock (NZ Herald)
Judge's comment: No they don't.

7. Southland greenkeeper discovers hidden talent cherry spitting (Stuff)
Judge's comment: Should have kept it hidden.

8. Girl uses sleeping mum's fingerprint to shop online (Newshub)
Judge's comment: Okay, this one is pretty cool.

9. Drone footage captures a killer whale eating a shark (NZ Herald)
Judge's comment: A generally disappointing shark season has seen the Herald forced to run wire stories like this. Sadly, nothing in the class of the 2011 article that alleged a shark swam up the Wanganui river.

10. Mysterious planet Nibiru will smash into Earth and the world will end in October 2017 (NZ Herald)
Money quote: "Elites might already be preparing for the end."

Sometimes, it does feel close.

 


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And from the UK - ( The Sun of course)

OAP'S VIAGGRO Viagra pill popper, 89, gets battered with hammer by cleaner 40 years his junior after he demanded a sex romp at his flat

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It's annoying to see the NZ Herald running similarly silly Daily Mail stories on a regular basis.

It's all part of the cage fight for clicks -- and it wouldn't stop with an APN-Fairfax mergers as the combined group would still be vying against Yahoo, MSN, Facebook and others to have the most traffic.

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Is that part of your submission to the Commerce Commission supporting the merger Chris? :)

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I did in fact make the above point when a team of three from the Commerce Commission who came to NBR Towers to interview NBR's publisher, news editor and myself about the proposed merger (NBR did not make a submission, but we were named as a competitor in the APN-Fairfax joint application so got on the face-to-face interview list regardless).

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Isn't NBR just as silly continuing on the story about John Key's holiday pics ?

No one cares - the only offensive thing about the photo's is how badly out of shape John Key has got eating from the Government trough for 8 years

The photo's have done him a favour and maybe he will lessen the fine food and do some exercise for his own well being - no one elses

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This is fantastic. Thanks Chris! Top quote would have to go to: "It's probably good for the cow to get out and do something different."

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Media scientists - oxymoron??

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Ah the lighter side of no news for you either Chris?

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Here is something far more entertaining than reading the herald / stuff. A forum thread dedicated to silly stories published by herald / stuff http://www.geekzone.co.nz/forums.asp?forumid=48&topicid=195076

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How about 11. an article listing stupid news articles.

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