Heavy tome, but dense on entertainment

If you’ve been working in advertising and you haven’t heard of the grand spanking story that is the 42 Below brand story, you probably just got back from Uranus. (How good are their creative departments there? I hear they’re going to win big at Cannes. Bit scammy though.)

Justine Troy and Geoff Ross, the superstars behind the brand, have penned a heavy tome called Every Bastard Says No, to tell all the stories around the vodka, especially those which the title would suggest. (Kind of like the guy who said no to the Beatles now, isn't it?) It's been out for a little while now and it's a good read – not one to be rushed.

It’s seriously heavy. And I don’t mean in a “whoaaaa that existentialist pseudo-noir film was heavy, bro” way but more like “I don’t want to carry that book round in my handbag all day” sort of heavy. If you’re a guy, you probably don’t have a handbag, so you’re fine. If you're a guy and you do have a handbag, you’re probably either a card-carrying metrosexual or you’ve spent too much time on Uranus.

Anyway, I’m going to estimate this book at a good solid 2kg. I don’t have kitchen scales so I can’t get a proper reading, but a hand-to-hand comparison with a bag of onions has led me to this conclusion. (Must be very good quality paper stock.)

On with the dance. 42 Below is a quintessentially Kiwi company (which has sold to global drinks giant Bacardi for $138 million, which means Justine and Geoff are all rich-like, now, and it’s no longer quintessentially Kiwi, only historically Kiwi) and this is the story of their journey, “from a grotty Wellington garage to the Ritz and a Geneva boardroom”. All those with grotty Wellington garages, this could be yours one day.

The ads and the marketing (at the hands of Darryl Parsons) are a big part of what pushed 42 Below to its heights and this tells the tale. Geoff Ross is an advertising suit (a former Saatchi man) so he had an advantage to start with. He knew his onions. Now he knows his vodka. It doesn’t sound like onions and vodka go together very well, but I hear they’re big on Uranus.

The ads over the years have been anything but PC, but certainly highly entertaining. There’s also been cool gigs like the cocktail world cup.

Bastard has ad examples (see right), photos, anecdotes and loads of press clippings, which all contribute to the story. It's clear they've made full and savvy use of PR over the years – it's the kind of brand just made for PR. There’s also a brilliant chapter from Geoff called “I hate marketing”, where he makes the point that people hide behind it and try to make it out as some sort of science, to make themselves look and sound important.

“Marketing is really common sense with a dose of good ideas thrown on top," Geoff writes. "This business function should be renamed just that. But then all the people paid huge amounts in global corporates and universities around the world would have to put down their market research and positioning analysis, full of acronyms and the latest buzz words. They would no longer be executive vice president, marketing and brand strategy, but only a person with common sense and good ideas.”

Other gems? “PR builds brands – advertising maintains them”; “Rock stars don’t look like corporate yes men”; and “social responsibility is not driven by a booze brand – it should be driven by your own moral constraints”.

Excellent. Finally, this is a must-click: have a look here for the video on the book.

Every Bastard Says No, by Justine Troy & Geoff Ross, $45 and worth every cent, out now – run, don't walk.