2011’s appalling legal scandals revealed – names are named!

Got your attention?

Your friends may have Porsches

An uncaring public has failed to rush to support lawyers financially skewered by new austere legal aid pay rates – whip rounds have not happened.

As legions of greedy, previously well-padded briefs wake up and taste the new fiscal reality, let’s give another cheer for Dame Margaret Bazley.

She is the oft-maligned lady who in no time at all produced a scorching no-nonsense report exposing some of the rorts lawyers use to pillage the public purse by ripping-off legal aid.

Among the scams widely used by lawyers is the unnecessary ticket-clipping parade of remands and adjournments in simple guilty cases and the fraudulent charging out of junior lawyers at senior legal aid rates.

At least one high-profile, yet to be named, barrister has been removed as a “legal aid provider” for creative claiming.

Private Bin has no sympathy, neither have other taxpayers, for lawyers who whine on about the need to spend millions of dollars protecting the civil rights, fair trial rights and every other “right” of guilty criminals.

Don’t forget that about 99% of those people charged with criminal offending did it. They are guilty. The sooner they are encouraged to admit and face up to their crimes – at minimum cost to the taxpayer – the better.

But don’t get Private Bin – the lawyers’ friend – wrong.

Some lawyers are indeed cut from decent, noble stock and are outstanding credits to their profession and the service of justice. Private Bin is honoured to know them.

We just need more.

And to the legal aid subsidised lawyer who went on the wireless this week to bemoan the fact his mechanic now got a higher hourly rate – it’s time to trade the stable of Audis for a nice wee Suzuki.

Who is that tall dark stranger?

Seen posing in Vulcan Lane this week was dashing Queen’s counsel and employment law specialist John “Joe Cool” Haigh, leading light of Auckland’s City Chambers.

Gentleman John was observed (Private Bin does not spy) through a Bombay prism test-driving several pairs of sunnies for style and distinguishment (No such word - Ed).

A quick squiz in the mirror, a pat of the hair, a glance this way and that…

Must be getting ready for the media frenzy round his chambers junior Anita Killeen, due to pop up in court next year accused of sending a forged email purporting to come from her ex-Serious Fraud Office boss Adam Feeley.

It should be made clear the dishy blonde by the silk’s side was a charmingly watchful shop assistant – it seems less honourable customers have been known to make off down the Lane with the goods.

Spare us a quid, Your Honour

Let’s not begrudge Their Beleaguered Honours a paltry, but richly deserved, Christmas pay rise – it’s around $5000 a year or a couple of bottles of Bombay a week.

It’s little enough compensation for having to sit there day after day listening to unmitigated snivel and drivel from a bunch of time-wasting courtroom clowns differentiated from prisoners at the bar only by having scraped through a law degree.

At least His Honour Justice Patrick Keane will be able to afford a new pair of blue jeans to replace the battered old jobs he was seen wandering into work wearing the other day.

(Sure the poor devil wasn’t picking up a few bob on courthouse gardening duty? – Ed)

Half a pint from the milkman of human kindness

But enough harrumphing…

To his chums on the Bench, silks, briefs, sychophants and toadies, his dear friends Christopher (Attorney-General) Finlayson, David (Solicitor-General) Collins and Judith (Justice Minister) Collins, Private Bin wishes all a merry yuletide and a better new year.

Late Newsflash!

Auckland police leave, cancelled in anticipation of an outbreak of over-exuberance at Vulcan Chambers Christmas lunch, has been reinstated.

Late Late Newsflash!

Cheers to Jovial Jurist His Honour Robert Chambers for being promoted from the Court of Appeal to the Supreme Court.