Judge Jock: A Ram Performs, Judges Agree, Famous Practitioner Peeved, Jaunting Circuit

Huge New Legal Earner
Our Man At The Bar, a wily cove, explains to a young Ram (that’s how the law society labels recently admitted members to its club) what a promising new out-of-the-blue earner means.

“It’s like this, Young Ram,” said OMATB, “That nice man Mr Shearer has promised to line the fragile pockets of lawyers by restricting foreigners from buying homes here… I’m sure that’s what he meant… ”

“This means lawyers will have to question every house buyer to find out if they are a foreigner or can prove their citizenship… Can you even begin to imagine the great vastness of riches which await us???”

“This, Baby Goat, is a hugely welcome leap in the right direction from the Left, the beauty of which complies with justice minister Judith Collins’ chilling plan to banish crime by Christmas.”

“As one trough empties, Spotty Pizzle, another floodgate bursts… Buttums Up, there’s a sport,” chuckled OMATB, shoving his jug across.

“On your tab, is it???”

Vying For Footpath Tug
Taking a lead from towering publishing citadels such as the New Zealand Herald and stuff, High Court judges are scrambling to draw lots for who will be the first to have their pubes hauled out while begging on Queen St.

“This is a jolly good opportunity for the Judiciary to expose their transparent common side,” a senior judicial communication adviser said. “Hmmm, on second thoughts, maybe that didn’t come out quite the way Their Honours would have liked… ”

Judges Agree With Themselves
A bid by the contemptuous Vince Siemer to have the Supreme Court recall its upholding of his jailing for six weeks for contempt of court has, not unexpectedly, failed.

As NBR ONLINE reported exclusively the other day, the court ruled three to one to dismiss Mr Siemer’s appeal against a six-week jail term earlier imposed by Chief High Court judge Helen Winkelmann for contempt of court (Top judges at odds – how Winkelmann trumped Elias) http://www.nbr.co.nz/node/142927/

Justice Winkelmann’s sentence was backed by the Court of Appeal and at the Supreme Court only Chief Justice Dame Sian Elias said Justice Winkelmann got it wrong and Siemer should not be jailed.

In exercising the Job-like patience of a judiciary clearly weary of Mr Siemer’s lengthy and convoluted court challenges, the same four judges of the Supreme Court – this time with Chief Justice Dame Sian Elias in full agreement – subsequently dismissed his application to recall their jailing judgment.

Mr Siemer would have the court agree (fat chance) that, following the untimely death of one of its members Justice Sir Robert Chambers before the majority decision was delivered, the court’s decision to proceed to judgment under s30 of the Supreme Court Act was wrong.

He said the remaining four judges did not properly apply s30, the procedure they followed was in error of law and the court failed to give reasons for its decision to proceed.

Lawyer Tony Ellis claimed the decision of the four judges to proceed to judgment was contrary to ss 392A and 395 of the Crimes Act, and to rules of natural justice – arguments the court rejected.

The judges ruled their decision to continue with their judgment did not require them to give a reason.

The judgment, they said, was a final judgment and there was no good reason to revisit it.

Is enough enough???

A Peeved Lawyer Writes
In a peevish note in which, among other things, he makes reference to items of male genitalia, Auckland lawyer Evgeny Orlov, Director, Equity Law Barristers, has taken issue with last week’s item. (Grave Charges Against Lawyer) http://www.nbr.co.nz/node/143242/

Judge Jock replies: “ It’s nothing personal, Mr Orlov… ”

Judges Score More Jaunting Time
A group of judges will play court reporters for a week after seeing how easy it is for multi-tasking reporters to beat judges to the punch on who is guilty or not guilty.
See (Media find Davina Murray guilty) http://www.nbr.co.nz/node/143265/

A senior judicial communications adviser (SJCA) said judges were impressed by how quickly and efficiently some decent, trained and skilled reporters were able to save loads of public money with seat-of-the-pants snap calls.

“A huge bonus for the taxpayer is these reporter/judges work in the private sector and won’t cost us a cent,” the SJCA said.

“Judges have been fretting for some time about how to fit in more overseas conference jaunts to awfully interesting judicial venues such the Bahamas, Florence, Milan, Prague, Paris, Barcelona, Rome… This is heaven-sent.”

Any Port in a Storm Dept
Ex-Wellington-based public lawyer Mai Chen, who came north in search of fortune, has moved into the death follows life game.

The ever-resourceful Ms Chen has launched a new website aimed at supporting New Zealanders’ will to live.

She reckons folk should be encouraged to live their lives to the full, while preparing for death by making an easy online will for $49.95.

Quick Quiz
What have recent court cases involving Hone Harawira, Davina Murray, Vince Siemer, Frank Deliu, Barry Hart, Evgeny Orlov and a giant German got in common???

Answer on the back of a coaster, including $20 entry fee, to the Ladies & Escorts Lounge by 1400 hours Friday.

(Clue: It’s not Willy Akel).

Next Time
Judge Jock ponders the vexing predicament of ageing lesbian, gay and transgender jurists.

Don’t want to be named??? Too bad…

“Sounds a little queer to me,” said The Scunner.

janderson@nbr.co.nz