MC Grammar's Year in Review

Last year, MC Grammar found many things within advertising upon which to grind his axe – such as this horrific episode.

This year, however, the industry seems to have been slightly better behaved. Still, leaving aside the PR sector’s gross ignorance of when to use "past" and when to use "last", several things have come to MC Grammar’s attention in the "past" few months. (You see what we did there?)

The What Happen'ed To The Proofreadin'g Award goes to: Colenso BBDO for this Tip Top Trumpet shocker:

“Tip Top needs to give apostrophes a holiday from this particular possessive pronoun, and then just keep on doing that,” MC Grammar said whilst cracking his knuckles in angst.

MC Grammar declined to comment on the plural treatment of a company, but insiders say he is in significant pain over it and is taking vodka shots to calm his nerves.

The What The Hell Are You Doing To Our Punctuation Award goes to: Te Waihou Water, for putting an apostrophe on top of the letter i, not only in its brand name but also all over its website like a fat kid on cake:

Post-viewing, MC Grammar fainted and could only be revived with smelling salts. On waking, he said: “I pity the fool” but declined to elaborate, and only the clinking of his gold neck chains could be heard above the sound of knife-sharpening.

The Pointless Hyphenation Award goes to: Aristocrat, with its pickle labels that are anything but high-class:

“Not only do these tools use the word ‘sandwich’ three times, they’re also screwing with my hyphens,” MC Grammar said, before tearing four Yellow Pages in half with his bare hands and downing a raw squirrel smoothie.

“Don't even get me started on those two cartoon muppets and their flip-top heads."

The Would It Kill You To Show Possession Award, No Really, Would It goes to: Breville and GrabOne.

The Stap My Vitals, What The @#$% Have You Done Here Award goes to: Lion Red, and whomever is responsible for the beer brand’s website, complete with grammatical nutbucketry:

Finally, MC Grammar’s Not Related To Language But Still Quite Amusing Award goes to this picture of some extremely unenthusiastic kayaking Swedes on the box that housed a Trangia camping stove. Warning: Excitement portrayed in this image may be at an all-time high.

MC Grammar wishes all advertising and marketing folk a safe and happy Christmas.

He wishes the same to all PR folk but cautions them that the newly sharpened knives will be out in 2011 for any PR person sending out press releases that fail to adhere to the proper use of “past” and “last”.

As 2011 is the International Year of Grammar, he’ll also be cracking down on the butchering of restrictive and non-restrictive relative clauses.

Just a word of warning.